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Baby Died Poem

This is part of my Meditation Journal with dozens of posts >

This was one of the most odd things that happened to me during my period of meditation. I was meditating and I opened my eyes because I felt that something was there in front of me. I looked at the plain blue rug. I saw something there – a movement and a picture of something – an amorphous something that I “knew” was related to me and my family and that wasn’t a boy or girl specifically, but was something important nonetheless.

The next night, my wife called from the restroom as she showered… she had spontaneously aborted in the shower and I picked up the soft tissue of what was to be our new baby had it gone through the right process. It was very strange, and I guess the most bizarre experience of my life to have had a premonition of the event during meditation.

Baby Died

I envisioned a face

just days ago

on the blue rug

it appeared

as one’s self


Like Fern and

like me

a blending of us

yet without gender



She screamed.

3 times–“WHAT?”

The baby

fell today

hit the floor

with the softest

of sounds

The blood rinsed

quickly away

leaving a mass

of tissue

on the white

ceramic bathtub

There was

shock and nothingness

A hand wrapped

in white tissue

lifted our child

for closer inspection

veins were seen

and fleshy tissue

a toilet was flushed

and so were our faces

A sadness was felt

a relief too

a seriousness brought

to us who like

to overlook

No pain was felt

No tears wept

just thoughts of

what was

and no longer is

of what would have


An ending to

a search

for happiness

of self

for truth

a continuance of

conditioning, tradition,

death of the spirit

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