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Cloudy Head – Uncreative State

I’ve been feeling this for weeks now, it’s pretty impossible to describe, but I’ll give it a try.

There’s nothing going on in my head most times.

When I try to write a fiction book, think about something in the future, plan something – it just isn’t there. My thinking process, I mean. It’s just voidness up there. It’s like I’ve suddenly become dumb or something. I’ve always wished for this state – to be so dumb, I don’t even know it… and maybe that’s what is finally happening! lol. I despise having a mind that is always thinking, planning, creating, and analyzing. It’s tiring. It’s pointless.

As much as I try, I cannot create anything anymore. my mind is on stop speed for some reason.

I was excited for a while before this state – to start writing fiction again. I just can’t do it. I’m coming up absolutely blank when I try to think of an interesting plot for a story.

I was up the mountain today and it had rained on me hard. It was almost dark. There were clouds so thick at the top, with the rain, that I couldn’t see through far at all – 30 meters max maybe. I realized… this is what my head is going through right now too. Same thing. It’s like my head is cloudy in there and not linking up as it normally does. I feel really, tremendously dumb.

Now, if this is the endgame – the way I’ll be for many years before dying, that’s cool. Just wish I knew so I could adjust. I don’t need to write books, I’ll just sit on a step and watch the world go by.

Not at all sure what this state is…

Vern

Over a decade ago I followed a simple meditation process that led to the Jhana levels without even knowing what Jhana was. I hope I can help more people to meditate and experience some of the things that happen when the mind stops. It may well be the most profound human experience available to us. Copyright ©2020 All content written by .

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