The silence in my head when I stop doing, is in a sense, the loudest noise I’ve ever heard. It means something colossal, and yet there is nothing there to tell me what it means. I don’t feel like I’ve reached nirvana. I haven’t done it through the jhanas. I have been in Jhana 8, but, I didn’t go the entire distance. I didn’t let go of the final piece.
The process has been going on its own without meditation, I know. But, I don’t think it has gone the entire way. I still get angry at people in traffic that endanger the lives of me and my family. Here in Thailand that is a pretty regular occurrence. I’m over it quickly, but still, it happens automatically as I’ve attached to the idea that we must always be ‘safe’. If I had reached nirvana – I don’t think I would have these emotions. I am not sure, I just think that I’d likely not have them.
Five minutes ago I closed the eyes. There it was. Silence like standing in the middle of Antarctica, or a deep cave. It is a bit disconcerting to stay in that silence for long because I know it isn’t a normal human experience. It isn’t something most people are experiencing, and in truth, I’ve not known anyone to have experienced it. I have read a lot by now about meditative experiences. I’ve read the masters’ accounts of Jhana and some monks’ and nuns’ accounts of passing into nirvana. I don’t remember anybody mentioning having a mind that was absolutely still anytime they stopped doing.
I’ll re-read Jiddu’s and UG Krishnamurti’s accounts of “the process” and what it entailed. Maybe there was something about it.
I think I mentioned, the new meditation book is nearly done. I am reviewing it for a final time before I send to three people I know that will review it. I’ll make final adjustments and then let it go on Amazon. If you want a free copy before that happens, just send me email and I’ll send it your way on PDF or whatever other format you require.
6 thoughts on “The Silence is Deafening”
Too late for that free copy???
Hi Mike, I’ll send the book to you when I get it back from my sister. Which format did you need?
Legend..!! You just made my day..!! Honestly any format would be no problem (pdf is good if that works for you).. Got your response to an email I sent you earlier today – busy replying to that right now & will finish my comments in that email – thanks for your generosity Vern!
No worries, it doesn’t cost me anything to give it to you… and, maybe you’ll get something out of it. Give me about a week. Sister is editing it again and will be ready shortly after that.
You are the first one to write about this, having personal experience with it.
I had it to. My mind got into a state where I realized I could not think, becuse I realized the emptiness of forming thoughts in my mind. I got very afraid and i tried to put one word after the other, but it felt false. The mind was completely silent without the ability to form automatic thoughts.
When that happened i came to some conclusions (understanding, without thinking) that was terrifying. So I forced my self to form words in my mind, one by one, until I was able to think again (until the inner dialogue of auto chattering started again).
Let me ask you this. Can you think with words or do you realize something that removed the ability to think with words?
If you can think with words or inner images, but you don’t, it’s just laziness. If you are not able to form thoughts then it’s different.
Btw, I live in South Thailand (samui) as well. I have lived here for 2 years and in Lao for 3,5 years. Maybe we are almost neighbors 🙂
Thanks for your note!
That is really interesting, and I’m glad you shared it with us here.
In my case it isn’t that I cannot form thoughts. I can choose to think whenever I want. But the state of a flat line mind is there any time I want to experience it. I can use it at anytime as a way to calm my mind even in the worst of circumstances. It is also fun to experiment with. What it does for me, is it gives me a base mind state that I can always go back to which is perfectly calm without emotion, without any thought at all.
You seem to have experienced something that was largely negative, but my experiences wholly positive.
Yes, if you are in Samui, then we are not far apart at all!
Thanks again for writing!