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Who Should You Follow in Your Meditation Practice?

There is someone sending me email every now and again to ask about what exactly I did over the course of my meditation practice and path. The other week I got a question about exactly what happened when the Non-Dual State occurred.

This is something I’ve never heard anyone else talk about – how it happened – so I knew my path wouldn’t help him much on his own meditative journey. Still, I answered the question as best I could. He wrote back and asked more about it.

I just realized, that to go real deep and explain every single thing that happened on the path would be 1. impossible. 2. boring. 3. not help someone else who is on a completely different path.

My path is not your path. My path wasn’t even a path I chose. I literally somehow got much, MUCH more than I ever asked for from meditation.

Somehow, by treating it as all very innocuous and as a challenge, experimented my way into some areas of the mind that not that many people seem to reach. The deep jhanas are a realm that is not well explored in this day and age. Why? Because the decisions you have to make to get there, the ego/fear/ambition/desire you have to let go of to progress, is not easily let go of.

In a way, you have to be willing to let go of you. Let yourself die to the process. It’s literally like that. You have to let go of all control and ego in order to progress through the jhanas.

It was just something I could do, for whatever reason.

I don’t know the reason. I could probably come up with some experiences in life that helped me do so, but it’s more thinking than I want to do right now.

Who Should You Follow in Your Meditation Practice?

You have to start somewhere, and most of you reading this have already started a practice of some sort.

Buddha

I think it’s best to look for someone who is in a place that you’d like to be in yourself. Someone who has a system and can show you step by step what they did to get there.

You could study the Buddha and what he did, for instance. There is a LOT written about it. It’s confusing, but you could choose different things from different writings and present-day interpretations and try to follow that in your own practice and see if it bears fruit. If not, throw it away and start again with another idea.

It need not be an idea from someone else, but it could just be YOUR idea.

Treat everything you do in your practice as an experiment. Some things may help. Some may not. Some may lead nowhere.

Me

This is what I was doing as I practiced. I started out with a general focus on the breath. I saw that it helped me reach a nice peaceful state, but the mind was still quite active. I enjoyed it for a couple of weeks. Sessions were usually repeatable and felt nice.

Originally that was all I wanted from meditation. Some brief moment after a rough day to relax the mind and body with nothing coming IN to the mind through the eyes, nose, ears, etc.

Then I wondered about the state of mind that occurred when there were no thoughts but only full concentration on the breath.

I wondered if I could do that.

I started a smaller focus on the breath to see if it would help.

Then a smaller one.

Then I redefined what I was looking for. I wasn’t focusing ‘on the breath’ at all. I was focusing on the tiny vibration of hairs in the nostrils that tingle gently with an in and outbreath.

Then it got really difficult.

But I kept trying to focus on the feeling of tingling in the nose 100% without wavering.

In a few weeks I made some light progress.

I kept trying.

I made more progress.

I was able to focus on a couple of breaths 100% without any movement of the mind. It took a lot of effort. I wondered, is it this hard the entire time – when focusing on a dozen breaths? A hundred? A thousand?

It was a couple of weeks after that where I had the major breakthrough and was able to focus on the tiny spot in the nose with 100% focus through hundreds of breaths in a row. Virtually without effort after expending very high effort to reach 5-6 breaths in focus. The next few hundred are effortless because I was locked into the state.

I was sort of getting somewhere. I didn’t know where, but I also noticed that my mind during the day was becoming easier to be aware of. I could see negative reactions, grasping, ambition, jealousy, anger, coming before I let it out sometimes. It was fascinating.

Anyway, I sat in the concentrated state in a lot of the sessions that followed.

It was a really unique feeling. It was profoundly peaceful.

After a few weeks of it, I changed it up again.

And so on.

Your Path

You might find that focusing on the sun, with some special filter over your eyes of course, is the best way for you to focus. You can choose another objefct besides the tingle of the breath. Sungazing is somewhat popular in some places. With some groups.

You can try anything you want. Follow someone else’s system to a certain point, then try something else. Try focusing on just the pain in your back as you force yourself to sit in a lotus position on the floor. Some people do this for months. Eventually they learn some things.

Try anything and see what the result is.

Be your own experiment. Don’t try to replicate my entire series of experiments.

Individual Path = Unique Outcome

I think there are many possible outcomes in people. I think we can see them if we do a little searching. People from all over the world are having experiences they call awakening, enlightenment, life-changing, etc.

My mom had a born-again Christian experience kneeling on the floor of our living room when I was around 12 yrs old.

Later when she explained it to me, it seemed VERY MUCH like the first Jhana. She had reached it by chanting Thank you Jesus over and over – hundreds of times… as she filled herself with hope and released the ego as much as she could… feeling like she was putting everything in God’s hands – her entire life, her well being. It was her ego that she was letting go of, clearly.

This resulted in an experience that changed her life from that day forward. She lived her life for others from that day on. She is still following that path today.

I have a Jhana student that seems to be having a full-blown Kundalini experience. She is overwhelmed with it, and trying to go through the motions of life here with a job and family. I’ll talk to her again in a bit, it’s very interesting what she is reporting. It’s not exactly like any of my experiences but then I didn’t learn about Kundalini before I meditated. She was pretty aware of it.

It’s all interesting.

It will be more interesting if you don’t try to follow someone else’s path.

Choose your own.

Then tell me how it’s going. I’d love to hear it!

Here’s how I replied to the man asking questions about my exact path this morning. I think it’s worth repeating here.

***

It doesn’t really matter, you know? My path wasn’t like anyone else’s that I know of. You should also find your own path. What someone else did should only be important to you as you create your own practice and decide what you will and won’t do. Try some things for a while. See what works. See what puts you in a good state of mind. See what doesn’t. See what is objectively real and what is superstition and that you believe from what people told you – even people you love.

Be your own experiment, not someone else’s.

Follow what someone did to a point, then go your own way. See what happens. Treat the whole path as an experiment to see where you end up. I purposefully didn’t follow anything ‘Buddhist’ in my path. I didn’t do any insight during the peaceful post-jhana sessions other than insight that arose naturally. I didn’t put anyone’s or any religion’s questions in my head to ponder. I just didn’t want that. I didn’t care what Buddha did by that stage. I had experienced amazing things, amazing changes in the mind… already I was happy with where I was. The non-dual state I have now came as a weird bonus that just showed up unexpectedly. Just like Jhana did. The whole path has been a real surprise, and I often say “i got more than i asked for.”

hope that helps

And, thanks so much for letting me know about your path and what you’ve found through trying things. Some of my ideas may work for you. Some not. Some of someone else’s ideas may work for you. Some not. Try different approaches and look at everything as a learning experience that is somehow worth it in the end and that will contribute to your own path.

Forget about everyone else’s path. Do you!

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