I found this in a folder of old files I’d left up on Google Drive. I’m glad I kept so much of my journal entries. This one is a doozy. This was written on the day I decided I was moving to Thailand. I didn’t know if I’d become a monk or stay at a … Read more
This is part of my Meditation Journal (click) which includes dozens of posts. I’ve done little with meditation this year. I just haven’t felt it. I’ve had things to take care of and I have had to work hard to keep our head above water. I’ve considered a few times this year about doing something … Read more
This is part of my Meditation Journal where you can find dozens of more posts like this. Meditation Journal Entry from 1999 one just finished meditating for a half hour. A fairly blank peace came over the self rather quickly (immediately). The back didn’t hurt. The mind didn’t wander far. At one point the breathing … Read more
This is part of my Meditation Journal where you can find dozens of more posts like this. Meditation Journal Entry – Frustration while Meditating I sat and meditated tonight and tried to keep mindfulness of breathing for about 30-40 minutes. I was pretty focused on attaining some sort of diff. experience and so none was … Read more
This is part of my Meditation Journal with dozens of posts > Meditation Journal Entry about the Fatness Feeling I meditated two nights ago on the futon in one of the bedrooms sitting crossed-legged. I sat and concentrated on breathing for about an hour with sporadic focused concentration. Then I heard the answering machine kick … Read more
This is part of my Meditation Journal with dozens of posts > Disenchantment / Non-Attachment Arises Over the past couple of days (this is sometime in 1998) while meditating I haven’t written anything! Actually weeks and probably a month. There seems to be no want or desire to do it to record it. I found … Read more
This is part of my Meditation Journal with dozens of posts > Meditation, Numbness, No body, No Self I read part of J. Krishnamurti’s book, Commentaries on Living at the bookstore. (in 1998) I also read a bit about living with Kundalini. By a practitioner of some yoga in which the goal is to release … Read more
This is part of my Meditation Journal with dozens of posts > Meditation Journal Entry from 1998 Mind Shift… Conscious Dimension Shift… Sitting in the reclining chair with my feet up on my desk I was mindful of breath for 15 minutes while fern showered. I settled down in about 10 minutes and started to … Read more
This is part of my Meditation Journal with dozens of posts > Meditation Journal Entry – 1997 Meditation tonight. Shut off lights, stared at the orange glow from incense. It was easy to concentrate for a while. Then the mind became pretty empty. Some emotions of fear came up and I cried for the first … Read more
This is part of my Meditation Journal with dozens of posts > 1998 Meditation Journal entry The numbness is very strange… it is like the body is missing… absent… or is it only my perception of the body… some part of the mind that is blanking out the body? It starts in one place – … Read more
This is part of my Meditation Journal with dozens of posts > I just meditated for 25-40 mins. In the blue room of the house. The mind became calm eventually–but followed many thoughts. Probably because this one is tired. One felt numbness. One was presented with many visual photos –mostly of demons and ghouls–like stuff … Read more
This is part of my Meditation Journal with dozens of posts > Meditation Journal 1998 This morning at maybe 6:30 as one was sitting on the balcony of our 7th floor hotel room in Melbourne, Florida one saw a gentleman walking along the beach below coming towards where one was. It appeared as if he … Read more
This is part of my Intensive Meditation Journal Experience – See Day 1 here. May 2009 Intensive Meditation | Day 4 In the evening I sat in the back of the apartment on the floor. I put a candle there so at least I could see the roaches or spiders if I felt one on … Read more
This is part of my Intensive Meditation Journal Experience – See Day 1 here. May 2009 Intensive Meditation | Day 6 Today I awoke without any back pain at all. None. It was surreal. Not only that but there something even more ridiculous… I felt as if I was in a meditative state most of … Read more
This is part of my Intensive Meditation Journal Experience – See Day 1 here. May 2009 Intensive Meditation | Day 8 Virtually no back pain still. My ‘luck’ is holding… If I thought it rained a lot yesterday – today it’s a flood. The rain came and went no less than 10 times today – … Read more
This is part of my Intensive Meditation Journal Experience – See Day 1 here. May 2009 Intensive Meditation | Day 11 Today started out with rain, ended with rain and had lots of rain in the middle. It’s unbelievable that it could rain every single day for weeks at a time. It’s more unbelievable that … Read more
This is part of my Intensive Meditation Journal Experience – See Day 1 here. May 2009 Intensive Meditation | Day 10 Unending Mindfulness I thought of changing the title a couple of times – as it just spilled out and wasn’t very well thought out. But, the more I look at it – the more … Read more
This is part of my Intensive Meditation Journal Experience – See Day 1 here. May 2009 Intensive Meditation | Day 9 It rained all last night – intense rain. I don’t know if this is from the Cyclone that killed all those people in Burma or not. Someone said 600,000 died. Is that unreal? In … Read more
This is part of my Intensive Meditation Journal Experience – See Day 1 here. May 2009 Intensive Meditation | Day 18 It has been nice weather here for the past week. I spent a lot of time walking up the hill at the park (mountain). Once I tried running it and made it 3 km … Read more
This is part of my Intensive Meditation Journal Experience – See Day 1 here. May 2009 Intensive Meditation | Day 3 Today went well. I had a lot of things to do today but I still found time to meditate (sitting) for about an hour in one of my favorite spots at a temple nearby. … Read more
This is part of my Intensive Meditation Journal Experience – See Day 1 here. After yesterday I didn’t know what to expect today. Today was just a regular day, but there was no stress about anything all day. Like yesterday, but no numbness. No feeling that I was already in a meditative state, just a … Read more
This is part of my Meditation Journal with dozens of posts > This occurred in about 1997. I wake up from sleeping (in my dream). I go into the living room area in our apartment at Horizon Place Apartments in Tampa. The blue table isn’t there. The sliding glass doors are open. It seems to … Read more
This is part of my Intensive Meditation Journal Experience – See Day 1 here. Meditation Journal Today began with rain, ended with rain, and as I sit here the next morning – it’s raining. That’s the south of Thailand. It rains more here than Kauai, Hawaii which is saying a lot. At the top of … Read more
I added a new ARTICLES section on the lower right side of every page in the sidebar. It looks like this… There are about 50 new links to articles that were buried in the design of the site before, and now are easily available. Have a look if you care to… Cheers!
This is part of my Meditation Journal with dozens of posts > Walking, Outside, Mirror Meditation – 1998 Sitting in the garage on the jacuzzi pad and towels one couldn’t get focused at all. One could not focus for even 5 breaths on the sensation in the nose. One drank hot coffee again before going … Read more
This is part of my Meditation Journal with dozens of posts > Meditating on the spa in the garage today in the morning 7:30. There was an instant calmness and emptiness that existed. The mind was not much troubled by anything, nor was it following anything that the eyes saw. It was a nice 20 … Read more
This is part of my Meditation Journal Experience after the Flat-mind State became permanent. Featured image above: Two monks walking to breakfast down a dirt path at Suan Mokkh Buddhist Temple in Chaiya province, Southern Thailand. What is Suan Mokkh Temple Like for Meditation on Your Own? I wandered around Suan Mokkh again today. My … Read more
This is part of my Meditation Journal Experience after the Flat-mind State became permanent. Featured image above: One of my favorite places in the world – Wat Nong Pah Pong in Warin Chamrap, Ubon Ratchathani province, Thailand. March 8, 2015 I haven’t written here in a while. My foot felt OK today so I climbed … Read more
This is part of my Meditation Journal with dozens of posts > I found this post on an old backup CD-ROM I have. I had posted to some meditation group about some of the odd experiences I was having while meditating. Pretty fun to read now. ******** Hi all. I’ve lurked here for quite a … Read more
This is part of my Meditation Journal Experience after the Flat-mind State became permanent. Alan Watts, one of my favorite speakers, has said that the feeling of ourselves, the feeling of the tangible self inside is nothing more than the muscular tension about the abdomen or chest area. I wanted to share with you what … Read more
This is part of my Meditation Journal (click) which includes dozens of posts. This past year, 2013, has been rather torturous. I’ve never felt more lost. I don’t know what to focus on to make a living. I have many things I’m competent at, and nothing I am an expert at. I usually don’t include … Read more
This is part of my Meditation Journal with dozens of posts > Note – This is an old journal article I wrote in 1998 or so. I don’t have the date written down on the journal entry. Sitting in the blue room at home. Meditated for a half hour. The back hurts again today. One … Read more
This is part of my Meditation Journal with dozens of posts > Mindfulness While Rollerblading… Mind Shift While rollerblading with Fern I noticed that when I looked down at the pavement there was a point where the pavement started to turn blurry (about 5 feet in front of us as we rode). Different colors were … Read more
“Endless Mind…” Let me sit a while body mass dissipates leaves sponge-like empty form fingers, arms & legs all gone breath slows to stop a perfect stillness all in motion a death-like moment of lucid awareness faint dog barking is self whole room breathing self-too mind not ending no confines of body of life It’s … Read more
This a.m. while sitting on the balcony of our 7th floor hotel room in Melbourne one was not trying to meditate–but one was just experiencing and being in the present moment. After a short time one blanked out for some periods of 1-10 seconds. One felt that otherness perch on the head for a moment … Read more
This is part of my Meditation Journal Experience after the Flat-mind State became permanent. You know the saying, there is a white elephant in the room? Well, there is one in my head. It’s always there, it’s quite plain that it is there. It has gone nowhere for years, it’s just right there. It doesn’t … Read more
This is part of my Meditation Journal Experience after the Flat-mind State became permanent. This occurred on Dec 2, 2011 at the top of a small mountain on the temple grounds of Wat Tham Seua in Krabi, Thailand. To clarify, the sense of vision appears to be an illusion. Sitting on the top of the … Read more
This is part of my Meditation Journal Experience after the Flat-mind State became permanent. I’ve been feeling this for weeks now, it’s pretty impossible to describe, but I’ll give it a try. There’s nothing going on in my head most times. When I try to write a fiction book, think about something in the future, … Read more
This is part of my Meditation Journal Experience after the Flat-mind State became permanent. Published July 6, 2010. Page updated 6 July 2021. There is still – after a couple of years now, I haven’t looked back to see when it was exactly, this underlying state of absolute stillness in the mind when I’m not … Read more
This is part of my Meditation Journal Experience after the Flat-mind State became permanent. A little status update – I’ve not written for a while – nothing really happening. I’m not consciously sitting at all to get anywhere… to get to any state… I occasionally still have a state come where thought stops in the … Read more
This is part of my Meditation Journal Experience after the Flat-mind State became permanent. I just remembered this dream last night, though I had it about 2 weeks ago. I thought I wrote a txt file for it – like I usually do for odd dreams but I can’t find it just now. I’ll try … Read more
This is part of my Meditation Journal Experience after the Flat-mind State became permanent. Today I went to one of my favorite quiet spots. I laid down and watched the mind as it responded to stimuli in the environment – sensed by one of the senses… To say I watched the mind is not accurate … Read more
This is part of my Meditation Journal Experience after the Flat-mind State became permanent. Over the last few months 6? 8? there’s been this constant stillness of mind that is always there. If I stop typing right now – it’s there – instant empty mind. No thoughts. It’s funny… it’s the state that I used … Read more
This is part of my Meditation Journal Experience after the Flat-mind State became permanent. Sat 23 May 09 Without writing a book about this… I want to mention it I guess because if at some point nibbana comes despite my not chasing it – there should be a path or a succession of things that … Read more
This is part of my Meditation Journal Experience after the Flat-mind State became permanent. Over the last few months, there has been this constant stillness of mind that is always there. If I stop typing right now – it’s there – instant empty mind. No thoughts. It’s funny… it’s the state that I used to … Read more
This is part of my Meditation Journal where you can find dozens of more posts like this. This dream occurred on 5-1-2008. [This page last updated: 4 March 2022] Yesterday I lay on the floor in my room after having done some exercise outside. It’s hot here in Thailand, some days hover close to 40 … Read more
I wrote this on April 23, 2009. This is part of my Meditation Journal where you can find dozens of more posts like this. [This text last updated on 3 March 2022] I’m not Buddhist per se. I’ve never been. I might have thought I was during a time years ago – but that was … Read more
This is part of my Meditation Journal (click) which includes dozens of posts. I was just thinking that it would be good for me to put down in writing some sort of timeline for the way things have happened for me since starting meditation. Often times people read this journal and don’t understand why I … Read more
This is part of my Meditation Journal where you can find dozens of more posts like this. I sat the other evening (4/11). It was about 8pm and I had no motivation to do anything else. Not that I couldn’t have found something – but from the inside -there was nothing pushing me to ‘do’ … Read more
This is part of my Meditation Journal where you can find dozens of more posts like this. This morning I was anxious to eat breakfast. I had kow pad gai (skinless chicken breast over jasmine rice). It also comes with a baggie of chicken broth with scallions and black pepper. Really delicious and it’s my … Read more